Wow, I haven't blogged since 2010!! Before Connor was born (yes, there is a connection). I think with work and life, I haven't had the extra brain cells to put thoughts down on paper. After writing this, I realize how beneficial this is!! HELLO BLOGSPOT!! I'M BACK!!
Hang on.....here we go!
A former colleague posted an article about Narcissism this morning. I read it and realized I am a narcissist magnet. In all fairness, I have been told this by counselors on more than one occasion. For those of you who know more of my story, my Mamaw was a classic narcissist. Maybe the universe it trying to get me to stop trying to find love and acceptance in these people because they are not capable. Period.
I need discernment to identify the narcissists out there. I am the person who ALWAYS perceives others favorably. I think Brian sees this as my weakness because I am always favorably pleading someone's case. I can't decide what takes more energy. To protect myself or to just openly love and more than not, be hurt by others. Right now, I am practicing protection but I have to tell you, that is not my nature and it doesn't feel good either. If I just stay true to loving others without boundaries, then I am left picking up my heart when others act negatively or disappear when I need a friend. Overall, I want everyone to be happy, be elevated and be their best. But I also need to be aware there are others out there who will never be happy and will encourage my insecurities in order to make themselves feel superior. My mom also tells me to stop sharing so much of myself with others. So in essence, that is two people who know me well stating a perceived weakness.
Does anyone else feel like this? This is a real struggle for me.
Here is a conclusion by the authors:
The conclusions, as stated by the authors, suggest that “unlike narcissistic individuals who generally evaluate other people negatively, people with high self-esteem tend to perceive others favorably. This difference implies that there are two distinct portraits of self-love” (p. 342). The self-love involved in high self-esteem doesn’t need negative comparisons with others to keep it going. The self-love of narcissism, by contrast, requires that you see others as flawed compared to you.
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