Sunday, December 20, 2015

Life it too short for perfection. SPOILER ALERT, it doesn't exist....

I read an article online this morning which I am going to share on my Facebook page as well. Many times, I have been guilty of obsessing over things that in the end, only mattered to me. And they only mattered to me because my circle of friends and society said so. It is hard not to get caught up in the hype of perfection when in reality, you can try all you want but we all know you cannot attain it. The quote I read was allegedly by Keanu Reeves. (See below) I tried my best to vet this since it was on his unofficial fan site. I cannot claim he said this but whoever did was spot on. I will name the persons he refers to as A and B.

Person A: I have many of these types of friends. I find that when I am around them, I too begin to think that I should be healthier, eat more organic, take supplements, less carbs, less fat, get a trainer, run more, stay out of the sun, get botox....the list goes on. Of course we should all strive to take good care of ourselves but in the end, genetics plays a bigger role than any life choices. And wouldn't it just suck if we lived like person A always worrying about EVERY little thing and then in the end, be plagued with serious illnesses anyway?

Person B: I love these friends. I really do. I feel free and happy when I am with them. I leave with a sense of peace and joy. Maybe their genetics will also lead them to person A's demise but THEY LIVED LIFE!! Kudos to them.

Keanu (or whoever) is right. None of us get out of this life alive. Be present and be happy! If you love to run because it comes easy and it makes you feel better, do it!! If you are like me and have tried to be a runner but it just isn't you, don't be so hard on yourself when the realization comes and know that is is okay to walk! Yeah!!

Enjoy everything this holiday season has to offer and do NOT come sit next to me and say the word carb. I am just warning you ahead of time.





Unofficial: Keanu Reeves Online
"My friend's mom has eaten healthy all her life. Never ever consumed alcohol or any "bad" food, exercised every day, very limber, very active, took all supplements suggested by her doctor, never went in the sun without sunscreen and when she did it was for as short a period as possible- so pretty much she protected her health with the utmost that anyone could. She is now 76 and has skin cancer, bone marrow cancer and extreme osteoporosis.
My friend's father eats bacon on top of bacon, butter on top of butter, fat on top of fat, never and I mean never exercised, was out in the sun burnt to a crisp every summer, he basically took the approach to live life to his fullest and not as others suggest. He is 81 and the doctors says his health is that of a young person.
People you cannot hide from your poison. It's out there and it will find you so in the words of my friend's still living mother: " if I would have known my life would end this way I would have lived it more to the fullest enjoying everything I was told not to!"
None of us are getting out of here alive, so please stop treating yourself like an after thought. Eat the delicious food. Walk in the sunshine. Jump in the ocean. Say the truth that you’re carrying in your heart like hidden treasure. Be silly. Be kind. Be weird. There’s no time for anything else."

Saturday, December 19, 2015

Narcissists Are Among Us

Wow, I haven't blogged since 2010!! Before Connor was born (yes, there is a connection). I think with work and life, I haven't had the extra brain cells to put thoughts down on paper. After writing this, I realize how beneficial this is!! HELLO BLOGSPOT!! I'M BACK!!

Hang on.....here we go!

A former colleague posted an article about Narcissism this morning. I read it and realized I am a narcissist magnet. In all fairness, I have been told this by counselors on more than one occasion. For those of you who know more of my story, my Mamaw was a classic narcissist. Maybe the universe it trying to get me to stop trying to find love and acceptance in these people because they are not capable. Period.

I need discernment to identify the narcissists out there. I am the person who ALWAYS perceives others favorably. I think Brian sees this as my weakness because I am always favorably pleading someone's case. I can't decide what takes more energy. To protect myself or to just openly love and more than not, be hurt by others. Right now, I am practicing protection but I have to tell you, that is not my nature and it doesn't feel good either. If I just stay true to loving others without boundaries, then I am left picking up my heart when others act negatively or disappear when I need a friend. Overall, I want everyone to be happy, be elevated and be their best. But I also need to be aware there are others out there who will never be happy and will encourage my insecurities in order to make themselves feel superior. My mom also tells me to stop sharing so much of myself with others. So in essence, that is two people who know me well stating a perceived weakness.

Does anyone else feel like this? This is a real struggle for me.


Here is a conclusion by the authors:

The conclusions, as stated by the authors, suggest that “unlike narcissistic individuals who generally evaluate other people negatively, people with high self-esteem tend to perceive others favorably. This difference implies that there are two distinct portraits of self-love” (p. 342). The self-love involved in high self-esteem doesn’t need negative comparisons with others to keep it going. The self-love of narcissism, by contrast, requires that you see others as flawed compared to you.